And no, it’s not the kind where seven people are picked to live in a house. In our editorial intern’s final post, she tells you all the things you shouldn’t waste your time worrying about in this time of inevitable worries—graduation.
Today is my last day as an intern at eNotes. Because they’re promoting me to an EXECUTIVE POSITION.
Hah, just kidding. They’re kicking me out. My internship has run its course and now we must part ways (sigh).
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. As I walk away from this position and from my previous college lifestyle, I can’t help but feel like scissors are snipping at the ties that connected me to these things. Many things are finished and done. And it feels a little like that painful moment someone harshly yanks the blinds open after you’ve been sitting in a dark room for 5 hours.
Life after college…is a really strange thing. I’d like to equate it to a baby bird’s first flight. That moment you leave college is the same moment someone kicks you square in the back. You start to freefall downwards and it’s exhilarating but scary. You don’t know how to flap your wings or gain altitude because you’ve never done it before, but you’re trying with all your might to do something—anything. You know that you are capable of flight, you can feel it as the adrenaline rushes through you.
I think we are all humming Tom Petty in our heads right now.
When we leave college, we’re free for the first time. No homework, no essays, no school responsibilities. No strict guidance, no tunnel vision, no more college microcosm. We can take our lives in any direction we choose to. But that doesn’t mean we necessarily know how to handle the situation or understand it fully. That doesn’t mean that we’re going to know how to grasp the real world off the bat, or even comprehend it. We’re thrown into it, and told to make it work. We know we can because a lot of people can. We know we can because we have a desire to and that desire fuels us. But we’re young. I’m not talking about age. I’m talking about our understanding of the world and of who we are. We’re young. So, it seems, the freefall is the only way we can prompt self growth, but it’s definitely not the most comfortable of feelings.
I’m undeniably in this free fall right now. I’m actually writing to you as I pummel toward the earth.
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve done a lot of worrying. A whole lot of worrying. To me, it makes perfect sense. New world, new life, new opportunities, and decisions that need to be made…these are all things that bring their own baggage—their own sets of worries and stressors. Throw ‘em all together and you’ve got one huge, heavy mess.
There’s a good chance this will happen to you at some point, so I’m going to go ahead and help you through it. There are some things that don’t need to be worried about. But we worry about them because we don’t realize we’re worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about. Let’s pretend like that sentence was really clear and not a run-on at all.
Here are some things you shouldn’t waste your time worrying about, like I did.
- Don’t worry about failing. If you’re chasing something—a goal, a dream, a degree, a career—just chase it, with all the gusto you have. Don’t let your mind be boggled by the potentiality of failing. It will distract. You likely won’t fail. And if you do, well…failure is also a good thing. It teaches. The best lessons are learnt from failing at something. Either you succeed at your dream, and move on, or you fail at it, and move on. Both of these things will leave you more knowledgeable about yourself, about life, and about what you really want from both of those things. Hello…this is a win-win.
- Don’t worry about what your life is going to look like in 25 years. Mini van. Dog. Three kids. A house. Early retirement. It’s good to have an idea of what you want your life to look like, and it’s good to take action to make those things more of a possibility. But stop stressing over them. Most of our plans are just rough drafts or sketches anyways. Things rarely happen the way we expect or plan on them to. So why dwell? Silly goose.
- Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. “If I don’t get this job then I’ll be unemployed and I’ll lose all of my friends because I won’t be able to go out anymore and I’ll just have to hang out with a dog and talk to it and I’ll eventually lose all my money and my apartment and my ability to remain hygienic and basically my life is going to be OVER.” Yes, let’s not do this. Half of the things we worry about are things that haven’t come into fruition yet. They’re thoughts. Little puffs of air that we catch in jars and then stare at until our eyeballs hurt. There’s nothing there. Stop staring. Stop it! Be in the present, not trapped in the different futures you’ve managed to paint. If something worry-worth actually occurs, worry about it then, but only then.
- Don’t worry about what your friendships and relationships will look like as your life moves forward. Just keep in touch with your friends and loved ones. Those who remain in your life are meant to, those who don’t might turn up again later or might not. We can’t control these things except by how much effort we put forth. So show that you care and love these special people, but don’t worry that they’ll leave you. That just makes for messes, drama, and crying. The kinds of emotion you feel during the gut-wrenching, tear jerking portion of a rom-com. Yuck.
- Don’t worry about finding a perfect career that’ll last you a lifetime. This is just silly. In life, we change constantly, and so do our interests. It’s not really probable to assume that a career you pick now will make you happy forever. In all likelihood, it won’t. In order for you to actually succeed at and enjoy your career, you will need to find work based off of what you feel in the present—what’s driving you now. So, with that in mind, there’s no need to worry about finding the perfect career that’ll last forever. Just find yourself a path that feels right for right now. Don’t worry so much about what happens later.
A wise man and renowned poet named Robert Sylvester Kelly (commonly known as R. Kelly), once sang to the heavens these famous words: “I believe I can fly.”
Well, friends, I believe you can fly.
It’s been nice knowing you, folks.
As you might’ve heard, our editorial intern Yael graduated last week! Now that the penny has dropped, we asked her to share some advice with soon to be graduating seniors. At the risk of inducing a minor panic attack, we asked her, “what would you have done differently?” This is what she came up with.
Alright…I messed up.
In my time as an adult (3 days) I’ve acquired a lot of wisdom.
As you may know, I just graduated. And with graduating comes lots of “looking back.” Let me tell ya, there are a lot of things I should have done differently in college.
Here are just a couple. Maybe you can use them. We both know, though, that chances are you’ll ignore them like I did, and be thinking the same thing whenever you finish. But I’m trying to help you, here. So, FOCUS.
For me, the main problem was planning. I’m not really one for planning, or for looking ahead. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m here to tell you that a little bit of planning is probably important in college. I speak from personal (painful) experience. So, here’s what can happen if you’re stubborn, like I was, and refuse to think things through:
- You may get dropped from your major.
Okay, so I didn’t read the fine print (who reads the fine print?) and missed a key line that said, “all prerequisites must be completed by the fall quarter of your third year.” Ha ha…what? I got an email that said I couldn’t be a psychology major anymore, at which point I cried, and sat (for a very long time) in a pool of self pity and loathing. It all worked out in the end because I am just that persuasive and luck was on my side. But please don’t do this. Unnecessary stress, unnecessary comfort food gorging. Read your major requirements. All of them. Even the ones in really tiny print.
- You may not be friends with a single one of your professors :(
I may have slept through most all of my lectures, but I just don’t get why my professors don’t know or like me…
I was not exactly the best student. I tried, I really did. Even sat up front in class. But something about being inside a lecture hall made me fall asleep, almost every time. This means that now I most likely won’t be able to find any professors who know me well enough or who think me charming enough to write me a letter of recommendation. If you plan on going to graduate school, make friends with your professors. Make them your buddies, and then ask them to write you the BEST letter of recommendation that they’ve ever written. That’s what you should do. Don’t fall asleep or yawn in class or ditch class altogether. Then you’d be me, which means you’d be ridiculous. Get it together!
- You may leave all your most annoying and difficult classes for your last quarter/semester.
You will probably not do so well in these classes. If you can, you should probably just avoid this painful situation altogether. You will have no motivation during your last term. Studying will not be easy. You will develop anger for anything remotely academic. I suggest leaving all your most mind-numbingly easy classes for this term, if you can. Plan out your course-load as best as you can so that you can ensure smooth sailing through your last term.
- You may graduate with a degree in unemployment.
Apparently my university has this wonderful thing called a career center. I’d heard about it but never really explored. There are magic fairies there that help you learn how to give professional interviews, write professional resumes, and get professional jobs. Man, oh man. Guess what? I didn’t go there, until the week before I graduated, at which point they told me “once you graduate you are no longer eligible for our services”. Fairies, why? Take advantage of these services when you can, or you will likely end up like me: unemployed and confused.
As I’m sure you can imagine, this is just a shortened list. A taste, if you will, of my poor planning skills and their consequences. I’m sure you get the picture though.
If you need more tips on things to savor in college, feel free to check out this here post.
Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. You will probably (definitely) need it.
Have any thoughts on what you would have done differently if you could go back and do college again? We’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment!