Top Ten Pick-Up Lines in Literature

Arthur-Miller-and-Marilyn-007

For the Power of Words, I give you Exhibit A: Arthur Miller (Death of a Salesman, The Crucibleand Marilyn Monroe.

As Exhibit B: Salman Rushdie (The Satanic Verses, Midnight’s Children and Padma Lakshmi.

rushdie

I could go on.

Here are ten great lines from literature that just might help you get lucky, too. 

wilde_cane

1.  “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

- From The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Read the rest of this entry »


After the Dash: Last Words of the Politically and Historically Infamous

farside_goat_sky

The thing that is so fascinating about a person’s final words is, of course, that the person rarely knows those  utterances will be his or her last.

One of my favorite poems is W.S. Merwin‘s “For the Anniversary of My Death”:

Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
When the last fires will wave to me
And the silence will set out
Tireless traveler
Like the beam of a lightless star
Then I will no longer
Find myself in life as in a strange garment
Surprised at the earth
And the love of one woman
And the shamelessness of men
As today writing after three days of rain
Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
And bowing not knowing to what.

Here are ten of those now-famous, or at least, interesting, last words:

marie_antoinette
1.  Marie Antoinette
Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.” – after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
Dominique_Bouhours
2.  Dominique Bouhours (French grammarian) 

“I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.”

george-v
3.  King George V

“Bugger Bognor.”” – to his physician, who had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.

Read the rest of this entry »


NSA Scandal Creates Summer’s Hottest Best Seller: Orwell’s 1984

big_bro

(Photo credit)

Isaac Asimov described George Orwell‘s dystopian novel 1984 as an “attempt to show what life would be like in a world of total evil, in which those controlling the government kept themselves in power by brute force, by distorting the truth, by continually rewriting history, by mesmerising the people generally.”

The novel was written in 1948 and thus set just thirty-five years in the future. This purpose, Asimov explains, was “so that even men who were already in their early middle age at the time the book was published might live to see it if they lived out a normal lifetime.”

Those men were around for the very beginning of the Digital Age and now their sons and daughters are remembering the warnings and apparently encouraging others to read it as well.  Although sixty-four years have passed since the publication of 1984, sales of the novel have skyrocketed, up by a whopping 6,000% .  The dramatic sales are attributed to revelations last week that the National Security Administration has been secretly using Big Data to collect information about the communications of Americans,

Here are ten  passages from 1984 that are giving a new generation of readers pause:

Read the rest of this entry »


Top Ten Literary Beers

It’s Friday! Time to kick back with a summer read, dig your toes into the sand, and crack open one of these beauties. Who said beers couldn’t be high-brow?

White Whale Ale

Yes, it is actually made with pages ripped from the seams of Herman Melville’s Moby Dick.

Le Petit Prince (or The Little Prince)

Lament on love and loss, and forget about that self-obsessed rose already.

The Raven Special Lager

I actually had this once. Nevermore, nevermore.

Read the rest of this entry »


ZZZZzzzz: Ten Books We Couldn’t Finish

read_sleep

My home is filled with books. Books on shelves, books overflowing shelves, books on my nightstand, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the floor. Most I manage to get through, if not always enjoy. I am a big believer in seeing it through.  Most of my friends feel the same way. AND YET… there are always a few that we just cannot seem to finish.  Some are classics that we know we should complete before the inevitable Rise of the Librarians comes to quiz us with tasers. Others are books friends raved about….or best sellers that have evoked a lot of fuss…for no reason YOU can discern.

Whatever the reason, here are confessions of my well-read friends and colleagues, many of them English professors, so I will have to give them Code Names so their students never find out their dark, dark, secrets.

moby_dick

1.  Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Dense passage about the physiognomy of whales: the poor man’s Ambien.  We all know that this should be read. And many of us keep trying. It’s our own…. yeah, you guessed it… Moby Dick (Insert groaning here.)

lotr

2.  The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

More Viggo Mortensen would have made this seemingly-endless series more interesting for me. Skipping the endless “songs” moves things right along though. Save yourself some time and listen to some Zep to catch up on everything you need to know about what you glossed over.

paradisio

3.  Paradisio by Dante Alighieri 

Another popular snooze-fest, this comment sums up our feelings in general:

 “I can’t finish Paradisio. The torments of The Inferno and even Purgatorio appeal to my sense of schadenfreude, but people in heaven and Beatrice? BO-RING.”

king_stack

4.  Anything by Stephen King 

I must say, in King’s defense, that his text On Writing  is one of my favorites. However, King, to me, and many others, is like the Costco of literature. Do you really need that giant box of paper towels? Or that giant stack of largely interchangeable plots and characters?

Read the rest of this entry »


Top Ten Totally Embarrassing Teachers

Your education is in their hands… their totally shameless hands. Meet ten teachers who definitely had the last laugh. At you. In the teachers’ lounge. With all their friends.

1. This teacher who totally went there

2. This teacher who just shattered your dreams

3. This Chemistry teacher who refuses to give Gaga the artistic respect she deserves

Read the rest of this entry »


Survivor: Finals Edition

Our top 10 study tips to help you survive dreaded finals week.

meet the parents 3You’re going out on a date tonight.  It’s with someone you really like.  You’ve been looking forward to this for several months.  But there’s a catch!  You have to meet your date’s parents first.  You really would just rather avoid this ordeal and get straight to enjoying the night with your companion, but it’s something that just must be done.  On top of this, you know that you should do it WELL if you want to feel good about it.  So you grin and bear it, put on as charming a face as you can and meet those suckers.  It’s never as bad as you played it out in your mind, and once you’re done, you feel like a million bucks.

This is exactly how finals are.  That date that you’ve been looking forward to is SUMMER.  And those intimidating parents that you have to meet are your finals!  Finals are a daunting obstacle to finishing the school year and beginning your treasured summer days, just as meeting your date’s parents was an obstacle to enjoying your night.  In both cases, students make way too much of a fuss than necessary.  I think I’ve told myself every finals week in college that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done and that I would fail a class.  I also remember doing everything I could in high school to prevent meeting my girlfriends’ parents.  These scenarios are much more intimidating in our minds than they are in reality.  The only way to get through these obstacles is to grin and bear it.  Once we’ve done that and taken care of business, we feel like kings.  Let’s take a look at some tips that can set you on the right track to nailing those finals and sitting upon that throne.

Read the rest of this entry »


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 811 other followers