And no, it’s not the kind where seven people are picked to live in a house. In our editorial intern’s final post, she tells you all the things you shouldn’t waste your time worrying about in this time of inevitable worries—graduation.
Today is my last day as an intern at eNotes. Because they’re promoting me to an EXECUTIVE POSITION.
Hah, just kidding. They’re kicking me out. My internship has run its course and now we must part ways (sigh).
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. As I walk away from this position and from my previous college lifestyle, I can’t help but feel like scissors are snipping at the ties that connected me to these things. Many things are finished and done. And it feels a little like that painful moment someone harshly yanks the blinds open after you’ve been sitting in a dark room for 5 hours.
Life after college…is a really strange thing. I’d like to equate it to a baby bird’s first flight. That moment you leave college is the same moment someone kicks you square in the back. You start to freefall downwards and it’s exhilarating but scary. You don’t know how to flap your wings or gain altitude because you’ve never done it before, but you’re trying with all your might to do something—anything. You know that you are capable of flight, you can feel it as the adrenaline rushes through you.
I think we are all humming Tom Petty in our heads right now.
When we leave college, we’re free for the first time. No homework, no essays, no school responsibilities. No strict guidance, no tunnel vision, no more college microcosm. We can take our lives in any direction we choose to. But that doesn’t mean we necessarily know how to handle the situation or understand it fully. That doesn’t mean that we’re going to know how to grasp the real world off the bat, or even comprehend it. We’re thrown into it, and told to make it work. We know we can because a lot of people can. We know we can because we have a desire to and that desire fuels us. But we’re young. I’m not talking about age. I’m talking about our understanding of the world and of who we are. We’re young. So, it seems, the freefall is the only way we can prompt self growth, but it’s definitely not the most comfortable of feelings.
I’m undeniably in this free fall right now. I’m actually writing to you as I pummel toward the earth.
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve done a lot of worrying. A whole lot of worrying. To me, it makes perfect sense. New world, new life, new opportunities, and decisions that need to be made…these are all things that bring their own baggage—their own sets of worries and stressors. Throw ‘em all together and you’ve got one huge, heavy mess.
There’s a good chance this will happen to you at some point, so I’m going to go ahead and help you through it. There are some things that don’t need to be worried about. But we worry about them because we don’t realize we’re worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about. Let’s pretend like that sentence was really clear and not a run-on at all.
Here are some things you shouldn’t waste your time worrying about, like I did.
- Don’t worry about failing. If you’re chasing something—a goal, a dream, a degree, a career—just chase it, with all the gusto you have. Don’t let your mind be boggled by the potentiality of failing. It will distract. You likely won’t fail. And if you do, well…failure is also a good thing. It teaches. The best lessons are learnt from failing at something. Either you succeed at your dream, and move on, or you fail at it, and move on. Both of these things will leave you more knowledgeable about yourself, about life, and about what you really want from both of those things. Hello…this is a win-win.
- Don’t worry about what your life is going to look like in 25 years. Mini van. Dog. Three kids. A house. Early retirement. It’s good to have an idea of what you want your life to look like, and it’s good to take action to make those things more of a possibility. But stop stressing over them. Most of our plans are just rough drafts or sketches anyways. Things rarely happen the way we expect or plan on them to. So why dwell? Silly goose.
- Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. “If I don’t get this job then I’ll be unemployed and I’ll lose all of my friends because I won’t be able to go out anymore and I’ll just have to hang out with a dog and talk to it and I’ll eventually lose all my money and my apartment and my ability to remain hygienic and basically my life is going to be OVER.” Yes, let’s not do this. Half of the things we worry about are things that haven’t come into fruition yet. They’re thoughts. Little puffs of air that we catch in jars and then stare at until our eyeballs hurt. There’s nothing there. Stop staring. Stop it! Be in the present, not trapped in the different futures you’ve managed to paint. If something worry-worth actually occurs, worry about it then, but only then.
- Don’t worry about what your friendships and relationships will look like as your life moves forward. Just keep in touch with your friends and loved ones. Those who remain in your life are meant to, those who don’t might turn up again later or might not. We can’t control these things except by how much effort we put forth. So show that you care and love these special people, but don’t worry that they’ll leave you. That just makes for messes, drama, and crying. The kinds of emotion you feel during the gut-wrenching, tear jerking portion of a rom-com. Yuck.
- Don’t worry about finding a perfect career that’ll last you a lifetime. This is just silly. In life, we change constantly, and so do our interests. It’s not really probable to assume that a career you pick now will make you happy forever. In all likelihood, it won’t. In order for you to actually succeed at and enjoy your career, you will need to find work based off of what you feel in the present—what’s driving you now. So, with that in mind, there’s no need to worry about finding the perfect career that’ll last forever. Just find yourself a path that feels right for right now. Don’t worry so much about what happens later.
A wise man and renowned poet named Robert Sylvester Kelly (commonly known as R. Kelly), once sang to the heavens these famous words: “I believe I can fly.”
Well, friends, I believe you can fly.
It’s been nice knowing you, folks.
As you might’ve heard, our editorial intern Yael graduated last week! Now that the penny has dropped, we asked her to share some advice with soon to be graduating seniors. At the risk of inducing a minor panic attack, we asked her, “what would you have done differently?” This is what she came up with.
Alright…I messed up.
In my time as an adult (3 days) I’ve acquired a lot of wisdom.
As you may know, I just graduated. And with graduating comes lots of “looking back.” Let me tell ya, there are a lot of things I should have done differently in college.
Here are just a couple. Maybe you can use them. We both know, though, that chances are you’ll ignore them like I did, and be thinking the same thing whenever you finish. But I’m trying to help you, here. So, FOCUS.
For me, the main problem was planning. I’m not really one for planning, or for looking ahead. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m here to tell you that a little bit of planning is probably important in college. I speak from personal (painful) experience. So, here’s what can happen if you’re stubborn, like I was, and refuse to think things through:
- You may get dropped from your major.
Okay, so I didn’t read the fine print (who reads the fine print?) and missed a key line that said, “all prerequisites must be completed by the fall quarter of your third year.” Ha ha…what? I got an email that said I couldn’t be a psychology major anymore, at which point I cried, and sat (for a very long time) in a pool of self pity and loathing. It all worked out in the end because I am just that persuasive and luck was on my side. But please don’t do this. Unnecessary stress, unnecessary comfort food gorging. Read your major requirements. All of them. Even the ones in really tiny print.
- You may not be friends with a single one of your professors :(
I may have slept through most all of my lectures, but I just don’t get why my professors don’t know or like me…
I was not exactly the best student. I tried, I really did. Even sat up front in class. But something about being inside a lecture hall made me fall asleep, almost every time. This means that now I most likely won’t be able to find any professors who know me well enough or who think me charming enough to write me a letter of recommendation. If you plan on going to graduate school, make friends with your professors. Make them your buddies, and then ask them to write you the BEST letter of recommendation that they’ve ever written. That’s what you should do. Don’t fall asleep or yawn in class or ditch class altogether. Then you’d be me, which means you’d be ridiculous. Get it together!
- You may leave all your most annoying and difficult classes for your last quarter/semester.
You will probably not do so well in these classes. If you can, you should probably just avoid this painful situation altogether. You will have no motivation during your last term. Studying will not be easy. You will develop anger for anything remotely academic. I suggest leaving all your most mind-numbingly easy classes for this term, if you can. Plan out your course-load as best as you can so that you can ensure smooth sailing through your last term.
- You may graduate with a degree in unemployment.
Apparently my university has this wonderful thing called a career center. I’d heard about it but never really explored. There are magic fairies there that help you learn how to give professional interviews, write professional resumes, and get professional jobs. Man, oh man. Guess what? I didn’t go there, until the week before I graduated, at which point they told me “once you graduate you are no longer eligible for our services”. Fairies, why? Take advantage of these services when you can, or you will likely end up like me: unemployed and confused.
As I’m sure you can imagine, this is just a shortened list. A taste, if you will, of my poor planning skills and their consequences. I’m sure you get the picture though.
If you need more tips on things to savor in college, feel free to check out this here post.
Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck. You will probably (definitely) need it.
Have any thoughts on what you would have done differently if you could go back and do college again? We’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment!
eNotes’ editorial intern just graduated from university!
Wondering what it’s like to leave college and move on to the real world? Outlined here are the six phases of graduation… and yeah, they’re just a little scary. But don’t worry, you’ll get through it.
I just graduated a week ago. So naturally, I’ve been thinking a lot.
If I could paint you a picture of what my senior year looked like, I’d say it kind of resembled the Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland. I’ve summed it up with an acronym, “Yjecda,” which I’m pretty sure means “chaos” in Elvish, but don’t quote me on that.
Allow me to walk you through.
Stage 1: the YES phase
Man, you are so excited. You just caught sight of the ride. The line is long. It must be good. Everyone says it’s good. You are getting on that ride. Nothing can stop you. Except for maybe churros. There’s always time for churros.
Your face looks like this:
The start of senior year feels like uncontainable excitement. The thoughts bouncing through your head sound something like, “YES” and “THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST YEAR YET” and “YOLO” (for the bros).You’re amped. You know how everything works. You have your friends. You know the ins and outs and you’re just ready to make the most of them. The time is NOW. Like…right now.
Stage 2: the Just no phase
You get to the line, just as the time on that little board of dread changes to “70 minute wait,” and you hear the person in front of you yell something like, “I think the ride broke down.” SERIOUSLY. But you’ve already committed, so you just stand there sullenly, waiting.
You look like this:
Yeah, you’re over it. It’s probably winter quarter. You don’t want to take any more midterms or finals. You don’t want to go to class because it’s keeping you from doing the things you want to do (like sleeping). The library looks like a black hole. You’re antsy (in extreme cases, this might mean you’re in a rut. Eek…) You feel like it’ll never end and you’re not sure how you’ve spent so many hours and years studying and studying and studying. This is just not acceptable. You may acquire forehead wrinkle lines from excessive frowning during this stage.
Stage 3: the I’m Excited again phase
You may have waited an hour and a half, but you’re about to get on the ride. There’s only one little girl and her father left in front of you, and you’re prepared to take them down if you have to. You’re so close, you can smell the damp walls. Mmm,victory.
Your feel a little like this:
You’re so close to graduation you can taste it. This might be spring quarter, or really any time around a month or so before you graduate. You’re just so pumped about all the potential opportunities that await you. You feel free and boundless– like you can do anything you want. No more boundaries. You’re in charge of your life for the first time. AND YOU’RE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
Stage 4: Confusion
At this point, you’re on the ride. And it’s really dark. When you start moving, you realize you have no idea where you are or what you’re seeing. You’re sitting in a log and it’s not comfortable and you’re confused why they would design it that way. There’s noises. What are those noises? It sounds like water. Like a waterfall. “Oh my god am I going to die?” So many thoughts. You keep dropping every now and then when you least expect it and…what? Is that a rabbit? WHAT IS GOING ON?
You’re all like this:
This is usually how you feel about 2-5 weeks before graduating.
How did you get here? You feel like a child trapped in some body that’s been wrecked by four years of undergrad. Those memories. All those memories! You were just a freshman, don’t you remember? You’re thinking about when you got accepted, and when you decided to go here. You’re thinking about your first friends. You’re thinking about first everythings. My god, has it really been four years? You don’t understand anything anymore. Nothing makes sense. You think about how time flies and it makes you want to hug things. What’s happening?
Stage 5: Dread
“The drop. It’s coming. It’s coming. I can tell. IT’S COMING. Maybe if I close my eyes. Oh my god. OMG.”
Your face be like..
Well, you just finished your last college course. How’s that feel? Like crap. It feels like crap. What are you going to do? What’s your next step? Are you excited to move away from all of your friends? Are you stoked to have to assume real responsibility? Are you looking forward to leaving the university you’ve called your home for the past four years? Are you just going to love creating a whole, new life where everything’s different?
At this point, the answer to all these questions is a fat no. A big, fat no.
Stage 6: Acceptance
Well, it happened. There’s nothing you can do about it. You’re soaked in the kind of water you’re not supposed to jump into for fear of illness or disease. You smell like dirt. Water is seeping into your jeans. “Why did I wear jeans?” Mistakes, so many mistakes. But it happened. Time to go eat some pineapple frozen yogurt and get over it. You’re going to enjoy the rest of your day because you’re at the happiest place on earth. Just got to dry off a little first.
And you look like this
At this point you’ve accepted your fate. You’re done with college. But you know your life is going to lead you to lots of happy places. They’ll be different, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. And you’re okay with it. You’re even a little bit eager to get started. It’s just going to take some adjusting, and you’re ready for that too.
You’re proud of yourself because you conquered college, and you conquered it with style.
So there you have it. The metamorphosis of a graduating senior.
Bring it on, world.
Just come with us on this one…
eNotes’ intern offers more advice on how to savor college and prep for the real world, which in foodie-terms can only be likened to that salad bar at the Souplantation–a bottomless pit of just “meh.” So, now that we’ve livened your spirits…
Picture this. You’re at a restaurant, and it’s around 3 or 4 o’clock. You woke up late and didn’t have time to grab any breakfast, and you had class for a couple straight hours without a break. Essentially, you’ve gone all day without a single bite of food, and MAN you’re hungry. So hungry, in fact, that the moment the waiter brings you whatever it is you’ve ordered (probably something with french fries), you praise him for his good deed, nearly yank it from his hands, and devour the entire meal before you even realize it’s happening. The next time you look at your plate, you realize it’s just you and a couple crumbs left. You aren’t even sure what you just ate.
Now, I didn’t just use this example because this is my life on a near regular basis… I used it because it’s really applicable! Watch me go, I promise, this is totally going to resonate.
That hamburger and french fries you just savagely took down in 2 minutes flat—that’s college (Oh my GOODNESS, what is that you say?). Chances are, you (you near graduate, you) feel like college “whoosh”ed past you in 2 minutes flat, or something close to that. You’re looking back at all those fragments of memories and experiences, and probably freaking out a little bit. Okay, maybe a lot-a-bit. I know I’ve spent the past couple nights rehearsing lines like these: “where’d all the time go?” and “I can’t believe it” and maybe some “…” (that’s just some silent wall-staring).
Fret no more, fellow sorry souls. We’re all in this together. We’re going to make it through. We’re going to savor all the best things about college while we still can. For those of you who aren’t as close to the end of the plank as us, pay heed to this list of top 10 things that are awesome about college (and maybe try to chew a little slower).
- When someone asks you what you’re doing with your life, you are allowed to answer “I’m a student,” and just like that, the “I now have to tell a stranger I have no idea what I’m doing with my life and I’m unemployed” conversational crisis is averted. Seriously, just like that. Enjoy this. Even if you have to awkwardly linger around people until they ask you that question, just do it.
- You essentially live in a weird village full of likeminded, crazy 18-22 year olds, and you’re friends with a ton of them- this is something that could only be crafted by a spirit above. Seriously…you live surrounded by your friends. Surrounded. This will likely never happen again in your life. Ever. Go hang out with your neighbors (and by neighbors I mean those that live: next door, across the street, down the street, and anywhere from 1-10 blocks away from you).
- This weird village you live in has its own set of moral codes and ethics. Close to 50% of the things you do in the little microcosm of a world that is your college town will never be accepted outside of that bubble. Revel in it.
- On the same vein, once you graduate, you will no longer be able to recount events of the past night or week and shrug it off with a smirk and the words, “college, man.” Self explanatory.
- The opportunities your university provides for you are endless. Clubs, events, speakers, concerts, special lectures, counselors, employment- the list goes on and on. You should participate as much as you can and take advantage of it all. Don’t be lazy, you’ll miss out on a lot of experiences you won’t be able to get anywhere else.
- You can cook like you’re a survivor on the series Lost, and no one will judge you. Pre-packaged foods, a microwave…who needs a stove or forks or knives? I mean, even if you wanted to have a dinner party, Trader Joes has some frozen meals that serve at least four people. You’re all set! Once you leave college, people actually may start expecting you to use fresh ingredients and things like spices (not the kind that comes inside your top ramen package—mmm, MSG). Eat as many microwavable chicken nuggets and taquitos as you can, while you still can.
- You get to learn the things you want to learn about. I know everyone complains about school because of all the work and studying and blah, blah, blah. But we all know, deep down, we like it at least a little bit. The fact that we get to fill our brains with new information on a daily basis, and that that information may lead us in one direction or other, building our interests and leading us to new ones…that’s just awesome. You know it, I know it. We just don’t like to really admit it all the time. College students are stubborn.
- You can wear sweatpants whenever you want because your day job isn’t really a job at all. Your job is to sit in a lecture and try to stay awake while learning things. Nowhere in that description are the words “business casual.” Pajamas are only pajamas if you’re in bed and sleeping- otherwise, they’re just clothes. Think about that.
- You’re allowed to dabble in things without being talked about as if you’re a lost soul searching for your way. Hey, it’s college. You’re encouraged to try new things, regardless of what they are. Literally, you can do anything and people (essentially by law) have to just nod and say, “that’s what college is for,” and they’re right. So explore, a lot, and do the weirdest things you can possibly think of because you never know what’ll stick. Soon it’ll be too late and your dreams of being a figure skater will be looked at a little more critically (Not that that should hinder you. You should always chase your dreams, even if people laugh at you, or think you’re nuts. I’m just saying, take advantage of the head start college is intended to give you).
- You are told, around three times a year, that you must stop doing schoolwork and instead, “relax.” Winter break, spring break, and summer vacation are some of the best inventions that have ever been created in the history of the world. Fire, the wheel—they pale in comparison. It’s mandated, enforced relaxation. This will most likely never be permitted at any other time in your life.
If all else fails, listen to some ‘90s music. Or to Hall and Oates (specifically, “You Make My Dreams”). You will feel like a kid at Disneyland who’s eating a churro (and we all know that’s the best feeling in the world).