Top Ten Strangest Questions I’ve Been Asked While Working at a University Library Front Desk
10. Patron: If I was feeling particularly existentialist, what book would you recommend for me?
9. Patron: Hi. I’m looking for a book called Bay Wolves. Can you help me find it?
Me: Sure, let me look it up for you… Hmmm, sorry we don’t have any books by that name. Do you know the author’s name, maybe?
Patron: No, but I think it’s spelled kind of weird, like B-E-O… wolves.
Me: …Do you mean Beowulf?
8. Patron: Can you help me find the Law Library?
Me: [pulls out a map] The Law Library is right here. You just walk down this street, turn this corner, and you’ll be there.
Patron: Thanks, hopefully they’ll have a book about Newton’s Laws.
Me: Uh, maybe you’re looking for the Physics Library instead…?
7. Patron: Do you have a travel section?
Me: Yeah, we have a Study Abroad section. It’s right over there.
Patron: Cool. Does that section have Gulliver’s Travels?
6. Patron: Who is the author of Dante’s Inferno?
5. Patron: Hi, I’m looking for a book—The Lord of the Rings.
Me: Would you like all three, or are you looking for one of them in particular?
Patron: What? It’s not a series. I’m pretty sure there’s only one of them.
Me: [confused, but finds him the call numbers for all of them]
-an hour later, he returns-
Patron: Sorry, I meant Lord of the Flies.
4. Patron: Can I get the biochemistry book?
Me: Sure, which one?
Patron: Umm, the one with biochemistry questions in it.
3. Patron: Where is your Shakespeare section?
Me: It’s on the third floor, in the “PR” section.
Patron: Cool, thanks. You guys have English versions of them, right?
2. Patron: I’m looking for that new book out, by Charles Dickens. Do you have it?
And the winner, one of the most commonly asked questions in the library: